I found my journal tonight. I don't write as often as I would like only a few times a year. I always find it interesting to read back over what was filling my thoughts. I think it will help you to really see my journey, so I'm going to post some of what I have written. Not necessarily word for word but along those lines:
3.4.09
Last Tuesday at BOL (Balsamo Olson & Lewis, the architecture firm) we all got called into the conference room, and told that the place was going 'barebones' and that the rest of us would be on 'furlow.' So as of this Monday I am jobless. I'm actually ok with it. I feel like God is definitely at work in this situation and it's time for me to find something I am truly passionate about.
James MacDonald has been speaking on trials and I have been really encouraged by these verses:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 1That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Hebrews 12:7-11 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
1 Peter 4:12-16 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.
It's interesting looking back, sure I had been laid off and had a lot of decisions to make but I wasn't even in the real trial yet. I think God was gearing me up for the year to come.
I don't have journal entries for the next few months.
But a few major things happen. I have a garage sale and sell just about everything I own. On June 1, 2009 I move into Tara and Matthew (my step-sister and brother-in-law) basement and my animals (Pepper & Maddox) go to live with Dad and Nay. I decided that if I was going to be serious about being open for anything the less 'stuff' I had the easier any transition would be.
I also hear back from the Peace Corps. I went in for an interview and was told that spots are opened about four times a year. My advocate would nominate me for a spot and then we would wait. I got the first 'No' in the summer of 2009.
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