Glad I'm Not On That Bus!

I woke up this morning around 4:00. Sometimes when I have a lot on my mind I have issues sleeping. I notice that my stomach feels a bit strange, but sometimes when I over think things I get nervous knots in my stomach. I try to relax and go back to sleep. I sleep for an hour or 2. What’s really strange is that I’m cold. I don’t really get cold living in the Midwest, how am I cold in Africa and it’s might be 72 degrees out? After that, I wake up thinking hours have gone by but when I look at my watch it has been 3 minutes. This happens over and over till about 9:00am. I finally decide to get up, but I just lay in bed. I feel weird.

I go down stairs a little before 11 and I bring some instant oatmeal with me. My stomach still feels a little off and I think maybe eating this will calm me down a bit. I make the oatmeal sit down and take one bite. It hits my stomach funny. I get distracted and end up talking to someone. I feel my whole entire body go hot. I instantly feel clammy and like I’m sweating. I throw my hand over my mouth… I feel sick! I sit a few seconds longer… the one bite of oatmeal has no business in my stomach… I run to the bathroom.

I instantly feel worse. I lay on the couch, but I ache all over and the couch is hot. So I keep rotating myself, and then I get a chill… which is so much better than a clammy sweat.

I’ve never felt like this before. One hour ago I felt a little funny, now I’m experiencing every flu symptom I’ve ever heard of and then some. Not to mention my stomach has never felt like this before in my life.

I stop. My heart races. I stare. I think. Could this be Malaria?! All I’ve ever heard about Malaria is that it’s different for everyone, some get flu symptoms for others it’s more like common cold for some a little of both.

I go upstairs and fall back asleep. Unlike last night I have no problem falling asleep. I sleep hard, really hard until 3 or 4. When I wake, I just lay in bed. My stomach still feels weird, but now it’s different. My stomach is cramping, or at least that is the only thing I could think to describe it. Maybe a good way to describe it is like contractions of the stomach. It’s not an ongoing feeling… it hurts bad for a few minutes and then I feel fine.

I decide to go eat some bread. Success.

I decide to eat dinner. Success.

But still the strange cramping in my stomach comes and goes.

Yesterday when Nunu and I were talking about what needed to be done we couldn’t decide if I should come along or just wait and meet with him after he’s run around town to gather information. This makes the decision easy. I text him saying he should just come to the Casa when he is done.

Being sick away from home is hard. You want someone to check up on you and bring you Sprite and pretzels. Today was the first time I have ever felt homesick in Mozambique. Most days at the Casa I feel alone. I only leave in the company of Nunu and Michael. It’s hard that they are the only people I know in Maputo and they are both men so neither are allowed in my room (house rules). It all makes me want to be in Pemba even more, but I hardly have the energy entertain these thoughts. 

As hard as this is, it would have been much harder on a bus. I will go to bed tonight counting my blessings and thankful that the Lord has kept me in Maputo. It’s hard when we don’t understand why things are happening… big or small it’s hard. Sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways. He keeps us from things for our own protection. Maybe I haven’t gone to Pemba yet to avoid getting sick on a bus, maybe the reason is much more than I could ever understand. I guess it’s all about having faith that God knows and He is in control… and I don’t always need to understand.